Hong Kong – a tough city for friendship

Friendship‘Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’  C.S. Lewis

Time for girlie talk:

I love my life in HK. I have been saying that for almost four years. Today it doesn’t feel so easy. I came back from holiday and my very close friend is gone. She moved away. It is a way of life in HK. People come, stay for a while (a year, two, five or longer) and then they are gone. Losing close friends has already happened several times before. People leave because of jobs, a desire to live in another country, having to head back home, health reasons, family matters…

This time feels tougher. We met during our first month here. Let’s be honest.. for several months we couldn’t find anything in common with each other. We didn’t hit off at all. I don’t remember how it changed. Together we explored HK and learnt not only about how to live here but about each other as well. It has been almost four years now. We were slow to fall into friendship but when we finally did we saw each other all the time. When she told me back in January that her family and her will be moving back to their home country I was devastated. I still am. I learnt a lot from her. I loved knowing that she was here. She encouraged and motivated me to improve myself. It was amazing to watch her change so much too. She’s a great woman. I miss her already. A lot.

‘Some friendships just expire’ – that’s what she told me when confused and frustrated I asked her opinion (instead of boring Husband for the eighteenth time that week) regarding the situation I found myself in with one of my other friends. Until then, for about a week, I was anxious, hurt and in the end pretty annoyed. When Sandy said: ‘some friendships just expire’ it really hit me. She was right. I spent a few days dissecting and analysing the relationship which apparently was over. It realised it was and that it was very difficult to ‘say good-bye’ to a relationship I assumed would last years. With Sandy, however, there was no high school drama – just HK life.

I am glad I wasn’t here on her last day. It was enough that I had a few meltdowns before she left. No more yoga classes together, no more gossiping over coffee. I am looking at my calendar for July and wondering how am I going to fill it without her presence.

There is another side to this. The fact that people come and go also makes it easy to meet new people. Everyone is always on the lookout for someone they can find something in common with. Right now I am not ready. I am planning a quiet month mostly by myself.

Done feeling sorry for myself. For today.


2 thoughts on “Hong Kong – a tough city for friendship

  1. Monica… I cried when I read this :)….you are an amazing lady! I agree, we did not have an “instant” connection but somehow, we managed to find friendship along the way. I think the lesson I learned is that you sometimes find great friends where you least expect to. If you keep working at it, just a bit at a time, we all seem to drop our protective armor and let a few special people into our lives. YOU are one of those special people to me. I already miss yoga classes with you (you never remember right from left) and coffee gossip after. I do believe that we are forever friends and will always be connected no matter where we are in this big and amazing world. I miss you and love you M!! xxxx

    1. Yoga classes are very stressful without you. Still not able to say which side is left but I try to remember your ‘looser’ sign! Made so many mistakes today that even Bandu was laughing. Will need to start wearing a bracelet or ring.
      Love you too my friend.

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